Turning FORTY – A new direction

Before I turned forty, I was really looking forward to it. I had heard a lot of people saying how much better it was than their thirties. I loved my thirties because they gave me my two babies! They’re not babies now and although that makes me sad, they are at a wonderful age where they are starting to find their independence and it makes me so proud of the people they are and who they are becoming (on a side note, I am a bit scared that this is the calm before the storm – teenagers – should I be scared?!).

Now that I am forty, I have found that I am not as productive as I would like to be. I seem to be overthinking things and avoiding life as a result. For example, I used to love creating content and sharing on social media but now, I will edit something I have written until it loses its meaning or essence. I will also hide behind the camera or avoid sharing a picture of myself because I have bags under my eyes or the light is unflattering or my hair looks too thin…

I guess the main point of writing this post today is that I have realised that since I have turned forty, I have become too self critical and I need to be like Elsa and, ‘Let it go!’. I have read a few books recently that have helped me in my journey to banish the negative thoughts and feelings. In particular, The Midnight Library by Matt Haig has made me realise that it is easy to carry regret around on your shoulders unnecessarily. It has made me self-censor because I have always been too scared to put myself out there. I always worry before I post something online that I will regret it later. I also berate myself for things I say or do when I create content. My daughter loves watching the YouTube videos I used to create and I’ve had to stop myself from telling her to turn it off.

Part of me blames the pandemic for making me feel so self-critical. In truth, I think I have always been too over-analytical. I have to learn how to stress less about the little things and focus more on the bigger picture.

Going forward, my blog and social media is going to change. I am going to try and shift the emphasis on to me. I need to stop hiding behind my children. There’s more to me than motherhood. I’m not entirely sure what I will write about as I’m passionate about makeup and fashion but sometimes I find it too superficial talking about it. I also want to avoid buying clothes and cosmetics for content. I might therefore need your help in sharing what you find enjoyable on my blog, YouTube and Instagram. Let me know and thanks for reading. Bx

P.S. How did you feel about turning forty? Has it made you more or less self-critical? Did you embrace it or were you worried at all?

Christmas Fiction – Blogmas Day 18

Sorry, I didn’t post on days 16 and 17 of Blogmas but I have been poorly and just needed a chance to recharge my batteries. Today, I thought I would share a few Christmassy books that I would like to read while I am off work.

I am a big fan of chick-lit. My favourite authors in this genre are Cecelia Ahern and Emily Giffin. I have nearly finished After You by JoJo Moyes and am tempted to see what else she has written in the New Year.

For now, I was having a browse through Goodreads and Amazon and found these books.

  1. Christmas at the Cornish Cafe by Philippa Ashley
    I read The Beach Cafe by Lucy Diamond in 2012 and I think this will probably be quite similar. I like easy reads to unwind to in the evening so I don’t have to remember specific details in the plot. I don’t like too much ‘romance’ like 50 Shades of Grey or for it to be too dark. I think this is the second part of a trilogy but I’m sure I won’t feel as though I am missing out by starting with this festive instalment.
  2. Lizzie’s Christmas Escape by Christie Barlow
    From reading the synopsis of Amazon, this seems like a Christmas equivalent of Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin. That is one of my favourite novels and I am hoping this story will be nearly as good. I haven’t read anything by Christie Barlow before but it is quite popular in the Kindle store with 5 star reviews.
  3. I Heart Christmas by Lindsay Kelk
    I have seen so many books by Lindsay that I have wanted to read but not had the chance so I thought I would try this one first. Again, I think I have somehow managed to pick another book that is part of a series and it is one of the later ones but to be honest with you, even though I probably would prefer to read things in order, I find that if I haven’t it is like a TV series where enough of the gaps are filled in to make the plot understandable.

christmas reading books

What are you reading at the moment and are there any Christmas chick-lit novels you would recommend? Bx