Mum Guilt – Blogmas Day 2

It’s day two of Blogmas and I have written and re-written this post several times today. I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to say and despite having a list of 24 ideas, I didn’t feel happy with any of them.

I guess as I have been struggling a bit recently, I haven’t had the enthusiasm to put myself out there creatively. My biggest problem is how Annabelle feels about me going back to work. It must be really strange for her considering I haven’t worked at all her entire life. For five whole years I have always been at home with her.

She seems to be suffering from separation anxiety as she will struggle to leave me in the morning to go in to school. On the really bad days there are tears and it’s tough to physically separate her from me and on others she tends to get grumpy and argumentative for no obvious reason. I had thought it was improving, however today after I watched her class assembly, she burst in to tears knowing I was going home and that she had to stay at school until 3pm.

When Annabelle started nursery, we had the same difficulties so I had anticipated that she would settle in to school in a similar way. The only difference between then and now is the length of time. At nursery she was completely fine after three weeks. We have been struggling now for three months.

She also seems to get quite jealous of Heath since I have started back at work. They will fight to sit on my lap or she will be upset if she sees me pack a swimming bag for his class. She often wants to miss school to stay with me.

I am hoping things will improve soon and I am trying really hard to give the one-to-one time she craves. It’s just emotionally tough to see her upset and to fit in everything that needs to be done during school hours so that I can dedicate time to her when she is home. If you have had this issue and have any tips on how to strike the right balance, then please let me know. I will see you tomorrow (preferably with a cheerier post!). Bx